i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
