I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i dont even know how to be here
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
