oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
