i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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