we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
