He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
