Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
