So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
