It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Sober January is a disaster.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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