All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
