If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
