I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
