Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
