i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
