I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
