so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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