So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
