it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
