? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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