Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
These tits shall not be calmed
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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