Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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