I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
