the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
