I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
