just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
