It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm both gender and math confused
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
