ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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