Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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