did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
