that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
