Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
