Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
