Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
