Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
