yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
