Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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