so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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