Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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