Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize