I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
