idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
