i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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