I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She told me I should be a condom model.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize