R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That's when you crack a 10am beer
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
