But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
