Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My feet surprised me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
