Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize