dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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