he wants to bone in the snuggie
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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