her vagine was all disorganized.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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