let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
