Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
