does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
