i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
be right there i have to get my cape
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
