Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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