It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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