That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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