I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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