ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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