so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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