I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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