Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
