nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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